For our next interview in this series, we will hear from Quentin AKA Mel Hémery (He/They) from France. Like many Disabled Aces, he has multiple diagnoses and subsequently, many thoughts and experiences with how their disabilities and sexuality intersect.
Please introduce yourself! How do you identify in terms of asexuality, disability, passions, professions, or anything else you’d like to share with us?
Hello, my name is Quentin ( or Mel), I'm a french queer and neurodivergent artist. In terms of asexuality, I'm identifying mainly as a bi/panromantic ace, with grey/demiromantic. I am also neurodivergent, since High School as HQI and with dys troubles (dyspraxia and dyslexia) and I'm also questioning about having ADHD and maybe being in the autistic spectrum.
I am a huge passion for mythology and TTRPGs and also like to draw, and since I was a kid; I have also a love Nature related things.
I had a Licence in Ecology and Biodiversity from University but decided to turn back to my passion art after the diploma, mainly because don't get admitted for master and bad experiences.
About my personality I'm someone who likes being funny, sharing his passions with friends. I am also a person with a lot of imagination and an everlasting daydreamer.
How do your asexual and disabled identities interact with one another and what unique challenges have you faced while living at this intersection?
Hmm, it's an interesting question, because i think neurodivergent and Psy disabilities could really affect sexuality and/or relationships. because it involved feelings.
In my own experience, I think it affects really the feelings thing in the way to express my feelings to people I could probably get interested. I also do get lots of partner experiences but It feels like something blocked me inside, also I am not a very tactile person, so I don't feel at ease with physical contact with people ( soI think that involved of my ace being). Also, I think sometimes my feeling good expressesare to strong so I not feeling ready and want to take too many risks with it.
Have you personally experienced any ableism from within the asexual or other LGBTQ2IA+ communities?
I don't think I got ableism really from other aces peoples or lgtqia+ communities. on the contrary, I found them really inclusive in terms of inclusion toward any type of people with disabilities or not. s the kind of ableism was more acephobia or any kind of judgement when I was younger because of being different aka being myself, or people forcing myself in things i felt not at ease with. and now struggling to find a good day job who is adequate to my disabilities, that why I wish get officially freelance when I'll be ready for it.
Also now, I feel so grateful to lot of queer friends and contacts I've met and i am still talking to; supporting expressing myself and being confortable in myself.
Have you personally experienced any acephobia from the disability community?
I don't think i got acephobia from other, disabled peoples, I think it works in the same way personally as with other peoples do.
What advice do you have for folks who wish to become better allies to disabled aces?
Oh, I think it's interesting to develop.
I think the best thing to help people to become allies, is at 1st get informed and instructed about it and learn to know the person who is in this category.
And accepting that everybody is different and doesn't share the same way of feelings and way to express it. So letting people be themselves.
After that, I think the better thing is to ask them about how they are comfortable with it and how they want their relation and don't force them into unwanted/uneasing thing.
Shameless self-promotion time! Do you have a business, project, artwork, or other content we should know about? Give us those links!
Oh thanks for the Opportunity, that's really nice!
So as mentioned I am a freelancer who enjoys working on D&D and TTRPG artwork, and doing some homebrew and campaign stuff for it, I am also open for emotes and/or badges commissions for streamers.
I am also working on prepping some D&D around some of my D&D characters, who are also ace.
I have a Ko-fi for people who desire to support in my work:
I also used to stream some art or games/D&D on twitch
Social Medias and Galeries;